Self-Esteem & Personal Growth

Self-esteem shapes how you see yourself, how you relate to others, and what you allow yourself to pursue. When self-esteem is low, you may move through life feeling fundamentally inadequate, overly self-critical, or unsure of your worth. This can show up as harsh inner dialogue, difficulty tolerating mistakes, fear of being judged, or hesitation to take risks even when you want more from your life.

While everyone has moments of self-doubt, persistent low self-esteem can quietly limit your choices. Many people cope by avoiding situations that feel exposing or uncomfortable, such as speaking up, setting boundaries, pursuing goals, or entering relationships fully. Although avoidance may provide short-term relief, over time it often reinforces feelings of stuckness, loneliness, or underachievement, deepening negative beliefs about yourself.

Low self-esteem can exist on its own or alongside anxiety, depression, perfectionism, or relationship difficulties. It often develops through a combination of early experiences, repeated messages about worth or safety, and learned patterns of self-criticism. These experiences may include overt adversity, such as bullying or neglect, but they can also stem from subtle or chronic dynamics like emotional inconsistency, conditional approval, or not feeling fully seen.

Therapy offers a space to understand how your sense of self took shape and how it continues to influence your thoughts, emotions, and behavior today. At Therapists of New York, we help clients identify the patterns that maintain low self-esteem, such as avoidance, people-pleasing, perfectionism, or internalized criticism, and work toward more flexible and compassionate ways of relating to themselves.

This work often supports personal growth by helping you tolerate vulnerability, take meaningful risks, and engage more fully with your life. Rather than organizing your choices around avoiding mistakes or rejection, therapy can help you move toward growth, self-trust, and a stronger sense of agency.

If you’re struggling with low self-esteem or want support cultivating a more grounded and confident relationship with yourself, you can schedule a consultation with one of our clinicians below.